


We're not in a position to be loved

by Igirisuhito



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: AU, Angst, Crack, Drabble Collection, First Time, Fluff, Future, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Smut, The inherent homoeroticism of tending to your enemy's wounds, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Writing Exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26496979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Igirisuhito/pseuds/Igirisuhito
Summary: Numerous prompts sentence writing meme from Tumblr, except I have no idea how to be brief. Exploring the dynamics with Oumasai, mostly during strange encounters after trials. They have very mixed feelings about eachother
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	We're not in a position to be loved

**Author's Note:**

> Some poor soul requested some Oumasai for a writing meme on Tumblr. Over 9 months later I actually finished it. Shoutout to that anon I'm so fucking sorry.
> 
> Apologies for any inconsistency errors, V3's timeframe is rather weak in my memories.

**Angst**

Knowing that it was Kokichi's body in there seemed so much more painful than if it had been Kaito. He died as he lived, confusing, lying, leaving everybody with a burning hatred. 

Shuichi bit at the insides of his cheeks to quell the tears building up in his eyes. It wasn't fair, he deserved at least _some_ closure on Kokichi's actions. 

Nobody deserved such a painful death, not even him. 

**AU (in which Kokichi wasn't given the memories he was meant to be nor was his mind wiped)**

_Click_

"W-why did you lock the door?"

"Hush Shuichi.” Kokichi spoke quickly, spinning around and poking Shuichi hard in the chest. “Now tell me, you're suspicious of your 'Ultimate Detective' status, right?" 

He flinched, surprised by the sudden touch. "...Do you want me to hush or answer the question?"

Kokichi pouted dramatically. "THE QUESTION!!" 

"Okay um… I guess? Like, I only solved a single case..."

"Right! But you don't remember how you got here?" 

"N-no I don't..."

Groaning loudly, Kokichi’s hands threaded into his hair as he began to ruffle it angrily. "Fuck me, this sucks!"

Shuichi watched the other boy closely as he continued his temper tantrum, angrily stomping across the room and beginning to shuffle through the mounds of paraphernalia in his room. There was evidence from the two previous trials, a whiteboard, large stacks of paper and other… things.

"Aha!" He yelled excitedly as he pulled out a brightly coloured tablet from underneath some stuff stolen from the warehouse. He slapped the device into Shuichi's hands aggressively. 

In his shock, Shuichi blinked a few times. "Is this a kubs pad...?" 

"Yes." Kokichi nodded once.

"So this is..."

"My motive video, yes."

"I don't think we should-" 

Before Shuichi had even finished his sentence, Kokichi had leaned over his shoulder and tapped the screen, bringing the video to life.

_"Alright! Back by popular demand, it's time for the motive video! Who's the most important person in *your* life? And now, without further ado…_

_Kokichi Ouma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader…_

_He caused mayhem the world over as the leader of the secret organisation, D.I.C.E. And by 'mayhem,' I mean petty nonviolent crimes and harmless pranks._

_Anyway, Kokichi had ten loyal goons working for him. These goons were like friends and family… The most important people in his life…"_

"See all these guys? I don't know any of 'em! I didn't run some secret organisation, I used to just harass stupid idiots on the internet!" Kokichi muttered away, words spat with frustration as he yanked the tablet from Shuichi's hands. "I don't have those memories like the rest of you do!" 

"So you're…not the Ultimate Supreme Leader?"

"No! That's what I'm saying!" 

"Then why do you act like _that…_?" 

"Well I'm sure if the mastermind realised I knew they'd kill me in a heartbeat!" With a sigh, Kokichi threw himself onto his bed. "Jesus what kind of guy does awful things and then follows it up with 'That's just what an Ultimate Supreme Leader does!'? I was dropping hints to you the whole time! You really aren't an Ultimate Detective, huh?" 

Shuichi didn't know what to say. He simply stood there, mouth hanging agape as he watched the boy spill his secrets. 

A scary realisation gripped at his heart, and he twisted his head around to look to the corner of the room. "B-But what about-"

"I busted all the cameras in the room the night we got here.” Kokichi muttered casually, crossing one leg over the other and twirling a strand of hair in his hand. “Doesn't seem like Monokuma's noticed yet." 

_Right right. That's logical._ Shuichi took a moment to process the new information in his mind. 

"So this, our memories, our talents, everything. It's all fake?" He brought his hand to his mouth, mumbling to words behind his fingers. "What Kaede died for… isn't even real?" 

"Right on bucko!” A snigger slipped past Kokichi’s lips as he grinned bitterly. “This shit's all fabricated by somebody who was dumb enough to forget to plant those fake memories in my brain and wipe the real ones!" 

Shuichi's chest tightened. He could feel some sinking feeling in his gut, twisting and winding its way up to strangle his windpipe, threatening to make him break down in tears right there. He swallowed the feeling down, transforming his sadness into a burning anger. "W-why didn't you say something earlier… _before_ everybody died?" 

"Again, I didn't want to inform the mastermind. The only people trustworthy enough were Rantaro and _maaaybee_ you. I really just took a punt when it came to telling you, which was pretty risky especially since it was _your girlfriend_ who clocked the only person I could trust." Kokichi sighed again, glancing up at the ceiling.

Biting hard into his lip, Shuichi found himself running out of words to say that didn't involve screaming at the boy. "So, what now then?" 

Kokichi smiled sadly. "I don't know. I really don't know. "

**Crack**

"Focus focus… what turned the handle of the sliding lock?" 

Shuichi muttered to himself as he pressed his foot down on the accelerator, speeding up in preparation of hitting the wOuman representing the correct answer. 

He had driven this taxi quite a few times now and was getting used to it. The neon lights, the oversaturated sunset, those massive billboards. 

_Thunk_

_Ah, yes the killer used the Katana…_

As he was headed out of the city, he began to realise that he really couldn't tell what was on those billboards. Driving at 100km/h makes it hard to see anything but the road ahead. 

He lifted his foot from the pedal slightly, allowing himself to get a better look at whatever nonsense was being displayed there. 

Above Shuichi was a large picture of Kokichi Ouma, dressed not in his usual 'attire' _if you can even call it that_ , but rather a frilly pink apron.

A frilly pink apron and nothing else. 

Shuichi floored it. Ignoring the sensation of his heart beating out of his chest. 

"No wonder I'm meant to drive so fast… gay thoughts can't travel at such high speeds…"

**Future**

"Heeeey Shuichi! You're lookin pretty depressive." 

Shuichi ignored the teasing voice.

"Heeeeeeeey." Kokichi plopped himself down on the desk where Shuichi had been working, making it impossible for him to focus on the work in front of him and ignore the boy. 

Shuichi sat back in his chair, remaining completely silent. 

"Why are you ignoring me? I thought you loved me, Shu?" 

Gritting his teeth, Shuichi slapped his hands over his ears. A mixture of rage and sadness boiled up inside his chest causing tears to prick at the corners of his eyes.

"Shut up! SHUT UP! YOU'RE DEAD!"

He shook his head aggressively. When he finally opened his eyes again, Kokichi was no longer there to start back at him sadly, like he were something pathetic. 

**First time**

A sight Shuichi had never expected to see greeted him upon entering the classroom. 

A shorter man with purple hair and a strange white getup had a robotic looking boy pinned down against a desk, their hips pressed closely together. _Just what had he walked in on?_

"So you do have a dick?" The shorter boy grinned mischievously

"Yes-! No-!” The robotic boy refuted, struggling to push the other off “Please just let go of me!" 

The purple haired boy seemed to become aware of Shuichi's presence in the room. He twisted his head around in a creepy owl-like way to glance at him, before letting go of the robot boy with a big grin.

"Well hello there! I don't believe we've met!" The boy scurried over to Shuichi, grabbing his hand and giving it a firm, quick shake. "Kokichi Ouma, Ultimate Supreme Leader! It's lovely to make your acquaintance." 

Shuichi stepped back a little, surprised by the sudden change in personality. "Oh, um… Shuichi Saihara.... Ultimate Detective."

Kokichi’s expression changed suddenly, leaving him looking rather surprised. "Oh? A detective? I'm sure we're not going to get along, but I look forward to seeing more of you!"

"R-right..." Shuichi stammered, mind still reeling from the quick succession of events. 

**Humour**

This scene was one Shuichi had… not been expecting.

He wanted to have a more extensive look around his lab, especially with what sort of dangerous stuff was in there. Maybe find a way to lock all that poison away so nobody could access it? 

But his plans had come to a halt. There was something wrapped up in a blanket sitting in front of the fireplace. 

Somebody was in his lab. 

Shuichi stepped into the room quietly, it seemed whoever was there hadn't noticed his presence. Thank god they'd left the door slightly ajar… 

He picked up the sand timer from the coffee table. It was quite weighty and could definitely do some damage if struck with a strong enough force. Gripping the metal tightly, he began to lightly stalk his way over, careful to not startle the intruder as he made his way closer. 

The detective's heart was racing. Who would even be in his lab? Surely nobody was stupid enough to stir trou-

…

_It's Kokichi, isn't it?_

This only made things worse. Should he be scared or angry? Was Kokichi going to attack him? Did Kokichi already know he was there? Did he plan to try and poison somebody?! 

Possibilities were beginning to pile up in Shuichi's mind, exacerbating his anxiety. Panic was beginning to set in as the boy raised the sand timer above his head, fully prepared to strike.

_Snooore_

Shuichi froze. Was Kokichi… asleep? 

He lowered the sandtimer, still keeping a firm grip as he crept closer to the fireplace in order to get a better look at Kokichi. 

His suspicions were confirmed. The boy was sat cross legged in front of the fire with a book in his lap. Drool was leaking from his open mouth as he snored softly away, completely oblivious to the blood dripping down his forehead. 

Ehh?! Blood?!

Shuichi gasped loudly, perhaps a little too loud as Kokichi startled awake. 

The Supreme Leader glanced towards Shuichi, then to the object in his hand. "Oh, Shuichi! Finally come to beat my head in huh? I'm surprised it took ya this long!" 

**Fluff (continuation of humour)**

"Wh-what?! No!" Shuichi stood with his mouth hanging open for a moment before tossing the sandtimer aside. "Wh-why are you in my lab?" 

"Huh? Isn't it obvious?" 

"...reading?"

Kokichi sighed, flexing his fingers in an odd yet overwhelmingly gay gesture. "No, are you stupid? Geez, I thought you cared about me."

Before Shuichi could question what he was rambling on about, Kokichi wiped a little bit of blood away from his eyebrow. 

"Oh, right. Did the wound re-open?" Kneeling down next to him, Shuichi eyed the rivulets of blood shining on his forehead. They were beginning to dry and flake, but the wound still looked wet.

"Mm, yeah, it's not a big deal though. I wanted to see if there was any medicine in here that would help the blood clot faster, but alas, only poison. I mean, what kind of fake school is this if it doesn't have a nurses office?" Kokichi murmured the last sentence barely loud enough for the other to hear. 

"Sorry, I think there's a first aid kit in here though.” Rising to his feet, Shuichi walked over to the poison’s cupboard, beginning to search the room starting with where he was pretty sure he last saw it. “Let me have a look." 

Kokichi went to object, but swallowed it before he could get the words out. He was pretty sure if he tried to stand up again, he would go down like a sack of bricks.

"Ah! Here it is." Shuichi exclaimed, perhaps a little too excited with his successful search. He picked up the small box, scurrying over to where Kokichi sat before kneeling down in front of him.   
  
The box was opened with a click, and Shuichi opened the lid. Inside were numerous bandaids, gauzes, swabs, etc. It was a pretty standard kit, which was surprising, considering the fact it were surrounded by poisons. 

He reached for the bottle of alcohol, something to help clean the wound to prevent possible infection. Kokichi seemed like the type to be negligent with a wound, so of course he had to do it for him. He then grabbed a small cotton gauze, placing it to the side as he twisted open the lid of the bottle.

Kokichi observed closely as he placed the gauze over the lid, tipping the bottle upside down so the alcohol soaked into the gauze. He was surprised but just how experienced Shuichi seemed to be with this kind of thing.

“Wow Shuichi, you seem to be a reeeeal expert at this stuff! Maybe they should re-title you ‘Ultimate Nurse!’” He mocked, laughing a little as Shuichi glared up at him.

“Basic First-Aid training is a requirement for being out in the field.” Shuichi muttered, putting the bottle down and raising the gauze to Kokichi’s head. “This will sting a little.”

He thread his hand into the purple bangs, pulling them back to get a clear access to the wound. Shuichi had no qualms with hurting Kokichi, however, as he was not very gentle as he wiped the gauze over the gash in his head.

Kokichi squirmed in pain, gripping the blanket tightly in his hands as he whined. “Ow ow ow ow!! Stop it Shu!!!” 

A warmth was rising in his cheeks, probably all that blood returning to his head. Shuichi’s fingers were cold against this scalp, it was embarrassing, humiliating. Why did he have to baby him like this? Especially when he had been so adamant about rejecting Kokichi in the past.

“It doesn’t hurt that much, you’re being a baby.” 

“You’re so mean Shuichi.” Sticking out his bottom lip, Kokichi pouted dramatically. 

Shuichi did take the effort to make his touches a little more gentle, only because he didn’t want to listen to Kokichi’s whines, of course.

When all the dried blood had been cleaned off, he tossed the bloodied gauze into the trash can. He scrounged around in the box a little, seeking an appropriately sized bandage that he wouldn't have to cut down. When he found one, he held it up, checking to see if it fit.

For a second, Shuichi found himself staring. Kokichi looked nice with his hair up, showing off those pretty purple eyes and surprisingly dark lashes.

Then he reminded himself of the awful things Kokichi had done. Throwing Gonta under the bus, laughing in the face of his death.

Shuichi pressed the bandage to Kokichi’s forehead, sticking it carefully over the wound. “Even though I helped you, I don’t forgive you. I need you to know that I still think you’re a terrible person, Kokichi.”

Kokichi’s heart sank a little. “Nobody asked you to! I don’t want your forgiveness.”  
  
He slapped Shuichi’s hand away, rising to his feet quickly. He blinked back the lightheadedness, steadying himself before walking to the door. 

With a shaking hand, he opened the door. He opened it halfway, before pausing.

“...Thank you.”

The door slammed behind him, leaving Shuichi alone in the room, surrounded by First-Aid equipment.  
  
  


**Hurt/Comfort**

The doorbell rang, the sound reverberating around Shuichi's tiny room. It was probably Kaito finally coming for training tonight.

 _Though…_ Shuichi glanced up at the clock quickly. _It was kind of late for that…_

With a sigh, he got up from his bed, springs creaking beneath his shifting weight.

He opened the door, only to find an empty corridor with nobody there. Strange… who on earth would have the audacity to play a prank after such a horrific trial? It could only be one person.

"Kokichi…?"

A soft gasp could be heard from down the hall. Shuichi leaned out of the doorway, spying Kokichi awkwardly escaping down the stairs.

"Haha!" He laughed. "Guess who just got ding-dong- _ditched!_ As if I'd be coming to seek advice from you so late at night!" 

Shuichi narrowed his eyes, preparing to growl out an insult to Kokichi, something about being so insensitive after three people had died. He hesitated, however, upon noticing the watery gleam in those purple eyes.

The detective sighed and held his door open with one hand. "Come in, Kokichi."

Kokichi's mouth gaped at the sudden invitation. He wasn't going to let it pass, and dashed towards Shuichi before throwing his arms around the boy's waist and squeezing him tightly. 

"I… don't want to do this anymore..." Kokichi mumbled, burying his face into Shuichi's shirt. 

The other boy flinched at the sudden touch, something that was incredibly out of character for Kokichi. There seemed to be no threat, though, so he dropped his guard with a sigh.

Shuichi carefully placed a hand on Kokichi's head, petting him gently. "I know..."

**Smut**

"Ohh! Who would have thought that you were skilled in more areas than investigating? Isn't this a little illegal though? Sticking your dick in a suspect?" 

_'Is anything technically illegal if it's a dream?'_ Shuichi wondered as he stepped one leg at a time out of his slacks.

"Hey! Keep on the task at hand, pretty boy." Kokichi snapped, clicking his fingers in front of Shuichi's face. 

"A-ah right. Sorry..."

**Unresolved Sexual Tension**

"So when faced with a problem you don't understand, you resort to violence, Shuichi? You're such a brute, just like Kaito."

"Shut up! There's just no logic with you! Why do you even keep doing this?!"

Kokichi refused to break eye contact for even a second. The boy pressing him against the wall dug his fingers even harder into his shoulders, stabbing into the skin below painfully.

"Do you feel nothing?! Isn't there even a single shred of empathy left in you?!"

"Shuichi." Kokichi smirked. "It's been incredibly cute watching you play detective, but unfortunately I don't think your blind luck will help you any longer."

The shorter boy shoved Shuichi off with a strength he hadn't shown before, leaving the detective stunned and a little shaken.

As Kokichi walked back to the trial room's elevator, Shuichi caught himself staring in awe. 

"...cute?"


End file.
